¿Cómo estoy?
Well, I will have to say that I am doing well. It has been a while since my last post and I apologize. I do not always have access to internet nor facebook. When I was living in the states, I felt that not having internet access was like going to high school in your underwear. Here I feel a bit of freedom not having internet access every living second of my life. "Ni Quiera Dios!"
Okay, well after the Easter celebration in April and a week of traveling with my girlfriend, I returned back to my site to continue teaching. I am still working with the senior high school kids and their teachers preparing them for a local business competition in which they will present their products and business plan to a panel of judges. The top one or two teams from my site will advance to regionals. I have tried to explain the concept of creativity to my students, but I feel I have failed. I showed them the video of the national competition from last year and the products that made it to nationals. I just do not see where I went wrong teaching my students. I have tried to keep them away from arts and crafts and various food products and reach beyond their boxes that they are trapped in, but I have not achieved that this year. Maybe it is me...maybe I am just not cut out for this whole teaching thing. Vamos a ver. We will see.
The month of May seemed rather short with in service training with my business group Nica 61. We all met in Granada. It was good to see everyone again for a few days. A few days to ourselves that is. The days following were spent with our counterparts from our schools that we teach at. I had two come. The cool thing was that it was all paid for. The bad thing is...I feel like my profes did not take away anything. I understand this is their first year teaching the class and will be their first competition to tackle, but as far as helping me teach class...I get so frustrated. One profe sits with the the students and interacts with them while I am teaching class. WTF?! I have to ask profe to help me keep my students under control. I think that profe did not pay attention during the classroom management part of training...But then again, I feel, maybe it is me? I cannot call out profe during the middle of class and say that you should be behaving more like an ault and that I need help controlling your students!
I have been in site for over a year...what have I accomplished....? *sigh*
I have tried to work with a few local businesses and share my knowledge, but they want my hand and want me to baby step them through it. I suppose I would do so if I had time, but I have class to teach, work with Peace Corps, and want to get away on the weekends. I see where there are troubles and have tried to explain what they could do, but then some ask me for money and say that I should help pay them. Umm No! I´m not made of money and that is not my job. My job is to teach you how you can save for various expenses then invest your savings to better your business and or marketing strategies. Did I fail somewhere?
The last day in May through the first week of June I was in the United States of Texas (ok, America. Texans would agree with this.) I went to get away and to see my little brother graduate from high school! Ha! Remember those days...those last few days of high school where Mom made you sit down and write invitations to friends and family, those days where you didn´t care anymore, those days when you wanted to spend every second with your friends or significant other before you left for college, and soon you were off to a land of freedom (well sort of) called college? It was a surprise visit for my little brother. He had no idea that I was coming in! It was great to see everyone. I was able to see my family, my father, grandparents, an aunt, and my good friends! It was a little overwhelming being in the states where opportunities and necessities seemed never ending and where available when you needed them etc. I had only been gone for 15 months but being back for such a short period of time made me realize how greatful I was growing up in the United States. I grew up with a great family and they loved and supported us as kids. A felt a week was enough, I was ready to get back to Nicaragua. I do like the lifestyle in Nicaragua. It has grown on me. And here organic fruits are free! Imagine that! They grow and fall right in your back yard!
I had fun spending time with family and friends, but there was more work to be done back in Nicaragua. I was not 100% looking forward to going back teaching in the schools,but ready to be back hanging out with friends here.
The schools are about to be on a week of vacation between their first and second semesters. I have to work in the Peace Corps office during the 4th of July so I will be unfortunately unable to see fireworks and hang out with my friends drinking beer under a glittered filled sky celebrating America´s independence. Fortunately, I will be sitting in an air conditioned room working on grants and preparing charlas and business competitions. Hopefully I can make it to the TGI Fridays in Managua to celebrate this awesome day!
I am missing much of the World Cup games but know when someone wins or scores a goal due to the screams coming from my street. Every house here in Nicaragua has the game on. Even in some of the buses they have mounted TVs and are connected to the games! My Nica friends gave me a hard time about the U.S. losing, but "Ni Modo" I haven´t watched them anyways. Okay, so not a huge futbol (soccer) fan in the first place. I played once when I was in 7th grade and failed miserably. I was made fun of and ughh it was a disaster. I stuck with baseball and golf growing up as a kid. I played basketball, but for fun.
I hope my family and friends are doing well and being successful as always. I have those little feelings of success when I complete a full coversation in Spanish, pick up trash in my front yard, cut down weeds with a machete, cook eggs for breakfast, talk to the students about their personal problems or help them with their English class. It is those little successes that I have found myself being successful as a volunteer here in Nicaragua. I have come to realize that I cannot help everyone, I cannot be the greatest teacher or business adviser, and I can never be 100% Nica. I have learned a lot about myself over the last 15 almost 16 months. It has been awesome learning a new language, diving deep into another culture and learning new ways of doing things that have apparently been around for ages. Every day that I am here, I do feel a bit more successful. I reached for something I was scared of doing but decided to take a dive into the deep end of the pool not knowing how I would survive. I let curiousity drive me and latin music move me!
I almost feel fearless. I broke down that door that people always told me to wait for until it opened. I was tired of waiting for doors to open. I took charge and made that damn door open! It just so happened to open to serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Nicaragua. So I couldn´t control what was on the other side, but I made the initiative to make sure I crossed through that doorway rather than waiting to see if it would ever open!
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